tribute.

here's a tribute to economics
to the long hours spent in the tute room
mulling over a single question
on oligopoly
for all the delays in calculating national income
and the marginal propensity to consume
to mr. keynesian and his wonderful
model of aggregate demand
Y=C+I+G+(X-M)
of which i never really understood

now, i say goodbye, and exit the market,
permanently.

ps. to the pickle: the "first' principle didn't work this round!

past tense.

what used to be happy teasing and nonsensical scolding, has become stranger like politeness.

solace.

she sat there, staring at the graph. wondering how on earth profit could be maximised when the marginal cost curve cuts the marginal revenue curve...

sometimes you just do the things that piss me off most.

nothing's going in and she knows it.
she just lets the tears flow. her face in her hands, no one knows that she's crying. she's got too much pride to let everyone see, let everyone know.
she cried herself to sleep last night.
but there are still unshed tears that need to be let go.

and they will be. just about now.

and no one will see, no one cares. so just give it up. they'll never come and find you.
i'll find my rest in You.

shoelaces.

shoelaces, can be tricky things. they get all knoted up and tangled, that you just can't seem to finds the ends even.

it's just complicated sometimes. you don't even know where to start. amidst all the knots and tangles, there seems to be no hope at all. you take a part of the shoelace, and if you pull too hard, it gets even worse.

but things like that can't stay tangled. cos it just gets on your nerves.

you don't make any effort do you? ugh.

half down.

i'm half down. yay(: three more to go.

there's a killer on the loose
and he's out to get me
scratching me with his viscious claws
with no mercy
the words he roars
echo in my head with disdain

i close my ears
i refuse to listen

and then i bleed
slowly
silently...

but that's on tuesday.

"if TIL(total intelligence level) is less than TMT (total mugging time), then i shall exit the market permanently."

favourite class.

okay. i know i'm just a little bit late in typing this. but on monday like last week was my last drama class. basically my last week of official classes in trinity. admittedly, i don't feel as much as a bond to these people then i did back in secondary school, but hey. that was ten years alright.
anyhow, i start every week on a monday, at 9am, evan burge drama room, with roger. drama classes. i kinda used to dread it because i have absolutely so motivation to act whatsoever on a monday morning. nonetheless. i've loved this class to bits. i know that i'm not really particularly close to anyone, but these bunch of people have brought smiles to my face each week. cheryl, milene, lena, fiona(amber and mum), anna(the sister that bullies me), amy, nisha, kj, kenneth(darkmaster!!!), yenshan(my brother and father), jason, vincent(super chow!) and most of all. roger. the best drama teacher ever! it's been great having the opportunity working with you guys this year and classes have been the greatest cos of you guys. keep pressing on towards whatever your goals are and i wish you guys all the best.
to my group for this terms drama: i'm speechless. really. you guys did such a fantastic job. and i can't say anything more than that. that moment on stage with you guys, is, unforgettable.

i wish the spotlight never stopped shining.

countdown.

17 more days, and i'll be home.
16 more hours, and i think i'll be still in dreamland.
15 more minutes, and i'll be hitting the books again.

14 more seconds,
and i'll be missing you once more(:

what you bring.

patience mish. patience.
give give give.
don't take.
you don't need to take.
you don't need the whole world.

you just need You. and you've got everything.

the end.

i'm not counting down till the exams end.
i'm counting down till when independence will come my way.

it's 2.15am and i'im not asleep.
"i would not have thee linger in thy pain."
maybe i should crash.
just about now.

the five random things.

thanks to mister dennis chan shen han. i've been tagged to do this thingamajit.
okay, here goes. i'm supposed to list FIVE random things about myself and tag five other people to do the same. ahwell, just for kicks and for the fact that i'm really dying of boredom now, because of existentialist.

one: uh, i tend to chew my thumbs when i'm stressed or when i'm concentrating really hard. it's a VERY bad habit that i should try to kick. yes. i will get round to it. and yes, i know it's gross.

two: i love my guitar, art. yes, he has a name. he's my baby. and i've decided to learn, independence. those who watch tommy emmanuel, yes. that's it. independence of the thumb.

three: my fuji F10 camera that i just got recently, is named, foy. don't ask why. it's just a nice name.

four: i love rain. it's raining outside now. i like it cos it's nice and cold and one of those few moments for me, that are very treasured(: plus, it's nice to sleep in.

five: i only wear four colours of socks. black, white, grey and red. that's all. anyone care to give me a bright blue pair or something? i need more colour! i'm boring when it comes to dressing. hurr.

six: did i mention that i can't count?

people who have to do this (i'm not that evil, so you don't have to do it if you don't have the time i guess):

1) leeway
2) clara
3) vicc
4) k. bow
5) uh. anyone want to volunteer?

okay. the last random thing for tonight. back to othello.
"i am not who i am."

time goes by.

the hands of the clock, move just a little faster than we want it to. people walk in and out, more than we actually notice. time, slips through our fingers, quicker than quicksand. we talk endlessly, about anything, and everything, and i really mean everything under the sun. i mean, we can talk about bubble tea, and then the next minute, we'll be going on about guitars? i'm sure we're able to study very well together.

not.

fiona plus clara plus mish equals to endless conversations. meaning that, we should never attempt studying together. ever. and uh clara. i think we should put a quota on how much we hang out next time. i can imagine both of us sitting in front of our laptops...lah dee dah.

jump for my love.

four hours.

it's just one of those days, where i sit in front of my trusty mr. fujitsu and scroll through blogs, one by one. reading stories of other people's lives. voyuerism. gah.

some just make you cry.

make you feel like you want to be them, want to take away all that pain, or share that happiness.

that's what i call a good blog.

why do the hours pass so fast when i'm with you?

tuesday morning.

sunshine reaches from behind white fluffy clouds. a cool breeze blows the scent of fresh flowers into her face. she takes a deep breathe, closes her eyes. a smile plays on her lips. start walking again. trying to hide her face from other pedestrians so that they won't see that silly smile, she looks down at her feet, where leaves lie, continuously trodden upon. still smiling, she looks up and sees a beautilful black and white collie. looking up at her with bright eyes, and tongue hanging out the side of his mouth, he says a silent "hello. i hope your day will be a good one!"
ues, of course today will be a good one, she says.

it's tuesday morning, and the sun is shining.
cos' Your love is steadfast, and Your mercies are new every morning.
with You, (and not adidas) impossible is nothing(:

perfection.

fourth of november, grand hyatt hotel at collins and russel street, seven at night.

[i have to say this, that the hotel people are really smart. they put a mirror on the table to reflect the light from above so that the ballroom won't be too dark. how cool an effect is that.]

the night was rather enjoyable i must say.
all the pretty and handsome people walking around in shirts, suits and dresses.
the DJ kinda sucked. dancing was fun. anyhow one. the company was just, amazing. thank you to those who made this night so special. you guys are the special-est people in my heart. love you guys loads! it was really the company that made this event really fun. and and, to the roomie, my hair looked fantastic(: the after-ball event was even more special-er than i expected it to be.

the night wasn't perfect, but it was more than wonderful.

clarity.

somethings in life, aren't as clear as she'd like them to be. like, where she's gonna be, where she's gonna work, who she will be, etc. she always wished that she knew what could be. guess it's one of the insecurities she has.

and there are no answers are there? there are no, yes and nos. maybes and ifs are the only things that are actually definite. how ironic is that? she has to convince herself that there are no clear answers.

but inside of her screams, i want the answers and i want them now.

sigh. demanding spoilt brat.

she'd wait, for it to be crystal clear.
patience, is holding back.

she drags herself out of bed. sits up, and looks down at her feet.

"faith is a choice. and i'm making that choice today, to trust You."

i guess i'm just scared things will change.